A woman took to Reddit, looking for advice from the internet users on her story, “my husband invited his family without telling me, so I cancelled, and he wants a formal apology.”
The original poster (OP), 32, provided some background information on herself. She said that at the time of posting, she was six-months pregnant with her second child, who she shares with her 39-year-old husband of four years.
While the man works part-time with three night shifts every week, the wife has a full-time job, returning home to care for their two-year-old toddler.
She’s also serving the needs of her husband, the “family’s head” who holds court over his very large family since his father passed away the year before.
Christmas rolled around, and the man felt obligated to take over the duties of his late father, like hosting Christmas and holidays at his home.
Unfortunately, he didn’t feel obligated to consider his very pregnant wife.
The OP writes, “My husband has a large family…This year my husband decided as the man of the family to host Christmas at our house. Unbeknownst to me, he sent out invitations for a five-day Christmas celebration to his entire family, which are about 26 members in total.”
Failing to consult with his wife before sending the invitations, the OP describes her shock when she “found out about by accident,” which led to a confrontation and an even more shocking response.
“He said I shouldn’t be surprised and just get used to it, because after his father’s death he’s now the family’s ‘head,’ and all major family events will be held in our house, and in his presence.” Unable to manage caring for so many people with other commitments like work and their toddler, she continues: “I freaked out and said no this is wrong, and he should’ve talked to me first before sending out any invitations to his family.”
His solution was for her to take time off work so she could dedicate all she has left to entertaining his family.
But her unforgiving job required her to dip into her precious maternity leave, time she would need to care for her newborn.
“I demanded he cancel the invitations, but he refused, saying ‘over my dead body’ then walked out.”
Taking matters into her own hands, the mother then sent a mass text to everyone who received an invitation, explaining that she and her husband would not be able to host Christmas this year.
When he found out what she did, he lost his temper, saying her behavior was “appalling” and accused her of breaking “his word to his family,” making him look like he had no authority.
Arguing her point, the author reminded him that she couldn’t host a celebration for dozens of people while pregnant, taking care of a toddler and working.
“And I don’t care if he became the head of family after his father’s death because it means nothing to me. He took offense to that and walked out almost crying.”
Unfortunately, the tantrum didn’t stop there, and he next accused the poster of disrespecting his late father.
“[He] demanded a hand-written apology for cancelling the event and for being insensitive towards him and undermining his authority in front of his family, but I said no apology from me in any form… my [mother-in-law] is giving me a stern talk about how out of line I was for disrespecting my husband’s decisions regarding the holiday celebration with family.”
The author adds, “to put this out there he planned on sitting and telling stories of his dad while I handle everything, and his family believe that as guests it’s rude to ask them to help.”. Then this author asked for advice from Redditors,
What would you do if your spouse demanded a written apology from you for something they did wrong?
Please share your comments with us and then share this story so we can hear what others have to say!
