Becoming a parent can completely change our lives. Moms and dads often say that they feel immense love for their children, and state that they didn’t even think their life was possible prior to having kids. But having a child can have an effect on the relationship between two parents, for better or worse.
Recently a man wrote a letter to us and shared how having a baby led to the breakdown of his marriage. Below, you’ll find his full story with all of the regrets this man is now having.
Becoming a parent completely changed the man’s life.
Recently, Adam, 38, has sent our editorial a letter, where he honestly shared his pity family story and expressed all his thoughts and regrets about the situation.
Adam shared that now he realized that he was in a wrong, but earlier he was like a blind person.
The man opened his letter, saying, “I’m not looking for pity or understanding from you and your readers. I’m sure I’m not even getting it. But I decided to share my story to make other men in my situation to probably think twice before behaving like I once did.”
Adam wrote, “Me and my ex-wife Joleen have a 15-months-old son. We had been trying hard to conceive, and my wife Joleen went through some serious medical treatment before this ever became possible. I was on cloud nine when I found out she’s finally pregnant, and she was very happy, too. I always knew she would make a great mom, and I was never tired of telling her so. But things between us drastically changed after our son was born.”
The relationship between the spouses was getting very tense.
Adam continued his story, saying, that despite their son being a long-awaited and a very desirable child for both of them, things went very wrong from the very beginning of their parenthood.
The man revealed, “After our baby was born, our marriage fell apart. Joleen was always complaining that I wasn’t pulling my weight with childcare and chores. But at the same time, she always expected me to know what to do, without telling me or explaining anything to me. I often had to play guessing games, and it was so annoying.”
Adam confessed, “The situation between us was really bad. We argued a lot, and there were many fights because of some real trifles, and this was exhausting for us both. I ended up telling Joleen that her life would be harder without me.”
Adam explained that she didn’t even expect such a calm reaction from his wife after he uttered those words. He said, “Joleen got really quiet and just said that this was the end of the argument, and she wasn’t going to bear it anymore. It made things fall apart and soon we both filed for divorce.”
Though the spouses live each their own life now, Adam is not satisfied by it.
Adam wrote, “We’re living separately now, each of us got a new apartment. As for our son, we share an equal percentage of custody over him due to our law. This is considered to be automatic until one parents proves neglect on the side of the other one. We really don’t have that situation, so both of our lawyers advised us to split time and do alternating weeks since we separated, and we followed this advice.”
Adam then confessed, “I knew that being a single parent wasn’t that easy, but I didn’t fully realize how hard it was, until now. The weeks I get my son, I can’t really get anything done, and I must confess I can barely function. I’m literally exhausted. I have to spend the time when I don’t have my son on catching up the things I missed when I was taking care of him. My apartment is a mess and I can hardly keep up with errands and chores.”
Adam revealed, “I did think since I was having a hard time, my wife would be too, and we could even reunite on this basis. I expected that we would actually work on things between us. But she doesn’t want to. She says her life is easier now without me.”
Adam’s ex-wife seems to be enjoying her life without him now.
Adam’s ex-wife seems to be enjoying her life without him now.
Adam revealed, “Joleen said that she’s the opposite of me and, unlike me, she can pretty much keep things well-organized and done on time. She even claims she isn’t exhausted anymore, and she realized that taking care of one person instead of two has made her life so much better.”
Adam confessed, “I know I messed up, and I should have been a better husband. I can’t even ask about less time with my son, because I can’t afford the child support at the moment. Right now, neither of us has any, because of a 50/50 split of duties and equal income. But if we go off this equal split, my lawyer says the person with less time will get child support.
I’m mad about the whole situation now, and I regret my previous choices, and what I said to Joleen was totally inappropriate. The only person who’s having a hard life now is me, and this is so sad for me.”
