I (35F) have been married to Michael (39M) for five years. Before me, Michael was married to his high school love “Lauren” for 12 years before she abandoned him for another man. Their divorce was nasty, and Michael was distraught. It took him several years to recover.
Michael received a call yesterday informing him that his ex had passed away unexpectedly. I overheard him crying on the phone with Lauren’s sister, who had invited him to the burial. After he hung up, I informed him outright that I did not want him to attend the funeral.
“Are you serious right now?” he asked incredulously. “My ex-wife just passed away. Have some empathy!”
“Empathy? For the woman who ripped your heart out and left you a broken mess that I had to piece back together? I don’t think so,” I retorted. “If you go to that funeral, I’ll know that you still have feelings for her.”
Michael’s eyes flared with rage. “Do not be so insecure. Just because I’m grieving someone I’ve loved for over a decade doesn’t imply I’m still in love with them! I am going to the burial to pay my respects and find closure, not to reignite an old romance.”
“If you walk out that door, don’t bother coming back, I threatened.
“I’m not Lauren. I won’t abandon our marriage,” Michael said sadly. “But your jealousy and lack of trust really hurts. This controlling behavior is not okay. I’m going to the funeral, and I hope you can find it in your heart to be okay with that.”
Michael packed his stuff and left for the funeral two states away. Now I’m here alone, reeling from his disclosure and outburst. Did I overreact by forbidding him from going? Was I justified in feeling threatened and betrayed?
