An elderly gentleman had just picked up his shiny new Corvette convertible.
Feeling like a teenager again, he decided to test what the car could do. As soon as he hit the highway, he pressed the gas—80 mph… then 90… the wind rushing through the few silver strands left on his head. He was loving it!
But in his rearview mirror, red and blue lights lit up. A state trooper was hot on his tail. Instead of slowing down, he panicked and hit the gas even harder—100… then 110… 120 mph!
Suddenly, reality set in. “What am I doing? I’m a grandfather, not a getaway driver!” He eased off the pedal and pulled over.
The trooper approached, shaking his head, and said, “Sir, my shift ends in half an hour, and it’s Friday. If you can give me one reason—just one—that I’ve never heard before for why you were speeding, I’ll let you off with a warning.”
The old man chuckled and said, “Well, officer… years ago, my wife ran away with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.”
A trucker walked into a truck stop café and gave his order.
He said, “I’ll have three flat tires, a pair of headlights, and a pair of running boards.”
The new blonde waitress, eager to do her job well but puzzled by the request, went to the kitchen and asked the cook, “There’s a guy out there who just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights, and a pair of running boards. Does he think this is an auto parts shop?”
The cook chuckled and explained, “No, no. Three flat tires are three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two sunny-side-up eggs, and running boards are two slices of crispy bacon.”
Relieved, the waitress nodded and returned to prepare the order. But before serving it, she had an idea. She grabbed a bowl of beans and added them to the tray.
When she placed the food in front of the trucker, he looked at the bowl of beans and asked, “What are the beans for?”
With a bright smile, she replied, “Well, I figured while you’re waiting for your flat tires, headlights, and running boards, you might as well gas up!”
