Can you describe your wife?

Sepp, from a small village in Bavaria, goes to the police in a state of complete distress.

“Mr. Commissioner,” he says desperately,
“I would like to report my wife missing. She went for a walk with the dog a week ago and never came back.”

The commissioner nods and asks:

“Can you describe your wife?”

“Uh… she’s a redhead. No… blonde. Not particularly tall… but not short either. And she has green eyes. Or blue… no, more like green… I think.”

The commissioner sighs:

“I see… and the dog? What breed?”

Sepp immediately replies without hesitation:

“A German Shepherd mix, 65 centimeters shoulder height, light brown fur, black nose, dark brown eyes, small scar under the chin, tattoo number GAH 492.”

Read more…

An old man has d*ed in rural Bavaria.

The village’s new priest, recently sent by the diocese, apparently didn’t know the deceased very well. During the funer@l service, he gave a eulogy full of praise:

“What a wonderful husband he was… what a good Christian… how much he loved his children… and how many friends he had…”

The widow is slowly becoming suspicious.

She bends down to one of her sons and whispers in his ear:

“Please go to the coffin and check if your father is really lying in it…”