When you really want a relationship to be meaningful, it can be easy to misread potential signs your relationship isn’t serious, or that your partner isn’t taking your relationship as seriously as you hoped. But since these superficial relationships often don’t go anywhere, you owe it to yourself to recognize the difference, and move on if necessary.
To save yourself from a superficial relationship, first, you must know what it is made of. Heidi McBain, a renowned counselor, explains it as something whose existence is based upon only physical appearances, and flirtatious innuendos. Here are 11 statements which show the superficiality of your relationship from your partner’s side:
1. “Let’s wait before making any big plans”
If you find your partner putting brakes time and again on making some big plans, it’s time you realize that he isn’t as serious as you are. Whenever you talk about going on vacations or planning holidays together, he or she simply holds off that talk in a vague manner.
2. “Marriage is a big no for me.”
Rushing into marriage is never good for any relationship. But you must know where the thing is headed. If your ultimate goal is to get married to the person you love, and your partner doesn’t see himself getting married to you, then you better get out of the illusion of having a sound relationship.
3. “Let’s not talk about it”
Sharing emotions is an important part of any relationship. You can feel like keeping your problems to yourself sometimes, but usually in a meaningful relationship both the parties talk about their feelings to each other. This makes their bond stronger. If your partner doesn’t talk to you about his feelings ever, he might as well not feel anything for you at all.
4. “I feel good lying beside you”
Most of the times, people who don’t connect with their partners emotionally are able to connect with them sᴇxᴜᴀʟʟʏ. This is a sign of superficiality. If your partner displays his outpour of love for you only when you’re in bed together, it means everything for him is superficial rather than serious. If you aren’t okay with it then make a decision as soon as you can.
5. “You’re always there for me”
As sweet as it sounds, it doesn’t reflect the best of your partner. It can be said in a genuine sense too. But the context is important. If you get sweet lines like these through texting only but not in real conversations, then it is definitely shady.
6. “Oh! I feel sorry for you”
People in a relationship feel secure as they are dependent upon each other. They know that whenever they will be in trouble, their partners will be there for them. But what if your partner just shuts you out with vague statements like, “I feel sorry for you.” They would ask you to talk to your parents or friends instead of them. They are reluctant to hear out your problems.
7. “I’m open to an open relationship”
If both of you want to be in an open relationship then it makes sense! But if you want exclusivity unlike your partner, it’s not okay.
8. “I want you now”
Keeping the relationship based just on “that” isn’t a bad thing, only if both the party want that. But if your partner asks you to come over only to sleep with you then it’s definitely superficial.
9. “I can’t make any weekend plans right now”
If your partner says something like this, it means that you’re just an option for him. They haven’t prioritized you enough. They wait till the last moment to decide whether to meet or not.
10. “I just forgot”
Your partner forgets your special days like birthday, first date anniversary, or other significant moments of your life. And instead of being apologetic about it, he just exclaims that he forgot. This will hurt you for sure and more than that it shows his superficiality and careless attitude towards you.
Source: bustle.com
