A little girl was riding her brand-new bicycle through town the day after Christmas when a police officer on horseback stopped her.
The officer looked over the bike and said,
“Did Santa bring you that bicycle?”
“Yes, sir,” the little girl replied proudly.
“Well,” said the cop, “next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on it.”
Then he handed her a $5 ticket.
The little girl looked up at the officer’s horse and smiled.
“That’s a nice horse. Did Santa bring you that too?”
The officer laughed.
“He sure did.”
The little girl nodded and said,
“Well, Next year tell Santa that the d*ck goes under the horse, not on top of it!”
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There once was a blind old man who decided to visit Texas.
When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said,
“Wow, these seats are big!”
“Everything is big in Texas.”, the person next to him answered.
When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar.
Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands.
He exclaimed, “Wow these mugs are big!”
“Everything is big in Texas.”, the bartender replied.
After a couple of beers, the blind old man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located.
The bartender replied,
“Second door to the right.”
The old man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over a bucket and skipped the second door.
Instead, he entered the third door, which leads to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.
Scared to d*ath, the blind old man started shouting…
“Don’t flush, don’t flush!”
