After decades of micro-managing his employees, the company boss was finally old enough to pack up his desk and retire. True to his narcissistic nature, he ordered a massive, mandatory farewell party for himself on his very last day of work.
To ensure his ego was properly fed, the boss passed around a giant farewell card. He explicitly demanded that everyone write a deeply personal message expressing their admiration for him, so he could look back in his golden years and remember just how much his staff “missed” him.
Most of the terrified employees kept things safe and generic. The card quickly filled up with standard corporate phrases:
“Without you, this company will never be the same.”
“We will always remember your leadership.”
“Wishing you the best in your next chapter.”
The boss flipped through the card, visibly annoyed and completely unsatisfied.
“Come on, people!” the boss barked, slamming the card onto the table. “I need something real! Something from the bottom of your hearts, something truly touching and emotional! You all know how much I’ve done for you.”
He glared around the room until his eyes landed on his most senior worker.
“Okay, John,” the boss said, pointing a finger. “You have been working right by my side for the last twenty years. You are my absolute best employee. I am officially walking out that door today. What do you have to say to me from the bottom of your heart?”
John quietly stepped forward, calmly took the pen from the boss’s hand, and leaned over the card.
Slowly, deliberately, and with absolute firm conviction, John wrote:
“THE BEST NEWS IN 20 YEARS.”
