In families, money can often be a source of tension and conflict, as Dan discovered during what was supposed to be a warm and celebratory family vacation. Initially promised an all-expenses-paid trip, he was later asked to contribute to a birthday gift. This unexpected request turned the vacation sour, and then Dan had to seek advice from us.
Here’s his full story
Hawaii for my father-in-law’s 70th birthday. They insisted all costs were covered: tickets, hotel, food, etc.
On the first day there, my mother-in-law asked each of us to contribute $200 for the birthday gift. I said, “I won’t pay a dime!” Everyone was silent, including my wife.
After eating the cake, my mother-in-law suddenly got up. With a laugh, she declared to her husband, “We all got you a special gift to celebrate your 70th birthday.” Mid-speech, she stopped and said, “Well, almost everyone. Dan felt that $200 is too much money to spend for his father-in-law’s birthday!”
Later that night, when I returned to our hotel room, I was shocked to find all of my wife’s belongings gone; she had packed her suitcase and left the vacation. She left me a note saying, “You humiliated me in front of my entire family.”
I don’t think I am in the wrong here. We should have been told in advance that we had to pay; I felt lied to. Was I wrong to act this way?
Dan
