I (45F) have been married to my husband John (48M) for 22 years. We bought our house together shortly after getting married. I handled all the finances and paid the $2500 monthly mortgage from my salary for the past 20 years – over $600,000 in payments.
John works but has never been great with money. I trusted him and we had a handshake agreement that even though. the mortgage was in my name, we’d share ownership of the house 50/50 once it was paid off.
Last week, I happened to look at some mail addressed to John from a lawyer. I opened it and was shocked to see it was a deed transferring full ownership of our house to John’s mother, who is 75 and lives in an assisted living facility. The deed was signed a year ago.
I confronted John: “What the hell is this? You gave our house away to your mother behind my back after I paid the mortgage for 20 years??”
John admitted he did it because his mother’s money was running out and she’d have to go into a state care home unless he helped pay her assisted living costs. “She’s my mother, I had to do something,” he said.
I exploded: “By stealing my house from me and over half a million dollars I spent on the mortgage?? That home is my life’s investment!”
John said “Relax, when my mother passes, the house will revert to me and our kids can have it one day.”
I told John that’s not good enough – I want to be bought out of the house for 50% of the equity I paid into it over 20 years, or about $300,000 at least based on the current value.
John refused, saying I’m overreacting since I’ll get it all back’ when his mother dies. I reminded him I’m still paying for a house I don’t even own anymore.
Am I in the wrong for demanding buyout compensation since my ownership was taken from me? John says I’m greedy and has ordered me to “back off” regarding the house situation.
