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The Call from the Lab

The Call from the Lab
A man’s phone rang, and on the other end was the voice of his family doctor:
– “Hello, Mr. Johnson. I have some good news and some bad news regarding your health check-up from last week.”
Mr. Johnson let out a sigh: “Well, please give me the bad news first.”
The doctor said: “The bad news is that the results show you have early-stage Alzheimer’s disease, which is extremely severe. You will completely forget everything within a few days.”
Mr. Johnson went silent for a moment and then said: “That sounds terrible. So, what is the good news, doctor?”
The doctor enthusiaked: “The good news is that you don’t have cancer at all, just as we had worried!”
Mr. Johnson cheered: “Oh, thank goodness! That is wonderful news! But wait… what disease did you say I had again?”
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 A Man Went To Buy A Pig

A city slicker went to the country to buy a pig. When he approached the pig farmer, he asked for a 25-pound pig.

The pig farmer put the pig’s tail in his mouth and bobbed his head up and down.

He then told the city slicker that the pig was too heavy – it was 30 pounds.

The city slicker told the farmer he didn’t believe that was the way to weigh pigs.

The farmer called his son over and asked him to weigh the pig.

The son put the pig’s tail in his mouth, bobbed his head a couple of times and said the pig weighed 30 pounds.

The city slicker said the farmer and his son were putting him on.

The farmer told his son to go get his mother and have her come out and weigh the pig. The son went into the house and after a few minutes came out again.

“Mom’s weighing the mailman.”