A affluent man becomes annoyed when he finds himself seated next to an overweight woman in first class and begins whining to the flight attendant.
James Courtney knew it was going to be a rough flight as soon as he saw the woman who would be sitting beside him. She was HUGE! How was he supposed to travel comfortably with her sitting beside him?
The woman sat down and jabbed James with her elbow as she buckled her seat belt. “Watch it!” James yelled fiercely at her, and she turned toward him.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she cried, “Please excuse me…”
“Excuse you?” asked James mockingly. “Or excuse the 3,000 doughnuts you ate to get to that size?”
The woman screamed at him in surprise, and James noticed that she was rather young with a cute, weak face. It made him snarl, “Lady, when you travel, you need to book TWO seats!”
The woman’s eyes welled up with tears, but James was on a roll, especially after noticing her shoddy, old-fashioned clothes and worn-out shoes.
He said, “I guess your whole budget goes on nachos and hot dogs, right? So you can’t afford two seats? Next time pass the hat, I’m sure all your fellow passengers will be very generous!”
The woman turned to face the window, and James could see tears pouring down her cheeks in the reflection. “Listen,” he instructed. “I have a friend who runs a clinic down in Mexico, I’m sure he’d give you a liposuction mucho cheapo!”
Sobs were shaking the young woman’s shoulders by the time James felt reimbursed for his anguish from being squished in next to her soft mass. So when the attendant came back with the drinks cart, he requested a Martini.
Everyone should be treated with dignity and respect.
“Shaken, not stirred!” he instructed the lovely flight attendant in his best James Bond voice, then added, “I don’t know what Moby Dick here will drink…”
The lovely attendant pulled her lips together tightly and gave him a sour look. She then addressed the woman next to her. “Ma’am, would you like anything to drink?”
The woman nodded and dried her eyes. “Yes please, a diet Coke.”
James scoffed. “Don’t you think it’s a bit late in the game for a diet Coke?” The flight attendant and the woman both ignored him, but James felt satisfied when he realized he had angered them both.
He reclined back, nibbling on an olive and sipping his Martini as the woman next to him drank her diet Coke. He shuddered as he realized she’d need to use the restroom and would likely squeeze past him.
Not long after he finished his last sip, the flight attendant arrived with dinner. She placed a nice tray in front of him, and another in front of his partner passenger.
“Are you sure that will be enough?” James asked the flight attendant, “Because I think it would take a village to feed this lady!”
The flight attendant ignored him and continued to serve the other customers in first class. “That was rude of her, wasn’t it?” James told the woman sitting next to him, “I think I’ll complain about her.”
However, his fellow passenger ignored him as well, so James delved into the very great dinner. He was finishing up his wine when the flight attendant returned, and this time she was all smiles.
“Excuse me,” she said, “The captain is a huge fan, and he’d love to invite you up to the cockpit?”
James was astonished when he noticed the flight attendant chatting to the large woman next to him, who was smiling, flushing, and nodding. This meant James had to get up and allow her pass.
The flight attendant led the woman away, and James returned to his seat. He expected to send a number of angry emails to the company’s management regarding the service and conditions in first class on their flights.
He was mentally formulating some good rants when the captain’s voice broke through the speakers: “Ladies and gentlemen. We have a celebrity among us! If you are fans of ‘I Love Opera’ like me, you will recognize the voice!”
A magnificent voice entered the air, singing a few bars from a famous aria, and the passengers began clapping and remarking eagerly to one another. “That’s right!” the captain exclaimed. “It’s the lovely Miss Allison Jones, and she’s flying with us to do a charity concert for world hunger!”
The entire plane burst into cheers, and James cringed. Then the flight attendant approached. “Listen up, buster,” she replied in a chilly, harsh tone. “I don’t care how many millions you have, if you upset that girl again, I’m putting you in economy.”
James opened his mouth to argue and noticed a gleam in the flight attendant’s eye. “I’m sorry,” he muttered.
“It’s not me you have to apologize to!” She said.
Allison Jones, the huge woman, returned a little later, smiling and signing autographs for the other passengers. James got to his feet to let her take her seat.
“Listen,” he replied, flashing his most charming smile. “I’m sorry if I was a little rude, I had no idea who you were!”
Allison turned to look at him, and James noticed she had the most gorgeous eyes. “It doesn’t matter who I am. You shouldn’t treat people like that, EVER! And besides, you’re not sorry. Would you even be apologizing if I wasn’t semi-famous? You know, I can’t help my weight, but you can change your attitude. Stop judging people.”
James shut his mouth, fell back into his seat, and didn’t speak again until they were in Portland.
