WIFE CALLS THE BAR TO CHECK IF HER HUSBAND IS TELLING THE TRUTH. BUT NEVER EXPECTED TO HEAR THIS
A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. ‘Where the hell have you been all night?’ she demands.
‘At this fantastic new bar,’ he says. “The Golden Saloon.
Everything there is golden. It’s got huge golden doors, a golden floor, the works – hell, even the urinal’s gold!
‘The wife still doesn’t believe his story, and the next day checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon.
She calls up the place to check her husband’s story.
‘Is this the Golden Saloon?’ she asks when the bartender answers the phone. ‘Is this the Golden Saloon?’ she asks when the bartender answers the phone.
‘Yes it is,’ bartender answers. ‘Do you have huge golden doors?’ ‘Sure do.’ ‘Do you have golden floors? ‘Most certainly do. ‘What about golden urinals?
‘There’s a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling, ‘Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that pissed in your saxophone last night!’
Every Sunday afternoon a mother found a candy bar wrapper in her young son’s room.
She finally had to ask:
“Johnny, why do I find a candy bar wrapper in your room every Sunday after church?”
He answered by saying that God gave him the money and he used it to buy a candy bar.
The mother quickly replied.
“God gave it to you? How did this happen?”
“Well Mom, you give me a dollar to give to God.”
“So before church every Sunday I throw it up into the air. I figure if God wants it he’ll take it. If not, it will fall back down to me.”
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